At the end of a beautiful Summer night we were sitting at the kitchen island chatting about our day. From the corner of my eye I see something.
“Oh, my God! I think I saw a mouse!”.
“No, you didn’t”.
(That type of remark never fails to hit a nerve)
“What do you mean, no I didn’t?”
“You really think you did? Where?”
“From under the stove, I think it ran and passed through the air conditioning vent at the bottom of the cabinet”
(Phil – reluctantly, I must add – gets up and inspects the vent)
“There is NO WAY a mouse can pass through THAT. Don’t worry, you didn’t see anything”
(I wasn’t particularly thrilled, but accepted that maybe it was all part of my vivid imagination)
TWENTY MINUTES LATER….
I get up to grab a glass of water in the fridge. I know, I know, it’s always me. Never anyone else.
A gray mouse dashes between me and the fridge, and hides behind the trash can.
(Insert high-pitched scream here)
“You see? You see? I TOLD YOU! Why don’t you EVER BELIEVE ME? You think I’m some kind of a Drama Queen, don’t you? So there you have it: THERE WAS A MOUSE ALL ALONG! We’ve probably been living with this monster for months, maybe there is more than one, maybe there is a whole family, but NOOOOOO, “you didn’t see a mouse, Sally”.
“Ok, ok, I am sorry. We do have a mouse. I tell you what, let’s get the dogs to take care of him”.
So we devised this perfect plan. First, Phil stood by the trash can with a broom ready in case the creature decided to run away. Then, doing my best to stop shaking, I locked Chief in his cage, and brought Oscar and Buck to the war zone. I was actually quite optimistic, having witnessed more than once Buck retrieving and killing snakes in our backyard.
“Ready boys? Ready boys? There’s a mouse, there’s a mouse, GO GET IT!”
(Phil moves the trash can. No action, apart from my preemptive screaming)
“Where IS the mouse?”
“I don’t know, maybe it went inside the trash can, let’s see”
“NOOOOOOOOOOO! Don’t open it here, if the mouse jumps out I WILL have a heart attack and die, I SWEAR I WILL. You simply cannot open it here. How can you even CONSIDER doing that?
(I think the husband sighed)
“OK, FINE! I will carry it all the way to the garage and open it there if that makes you happy.”
I did not care for his tone a bit, but was too terror-stricken to let him have a piece of my mind. Plus, the “all the way to the garage” is a few steps, but “I” am the Drama Queen. How unfair is that, can you even stand it?
As he is moving the trash can, the rodent pops from underneath, runs like Usain Bolt, ignores my crazed screaming, and passes right by Oscar’s nose. Our valiant dog BACKED AWAY FROM IT, as if afraid, disgusted or a mixture of both. Buck? He was already laying in his bed, oblivious to the whole thing.
Mouse disappeared under the stove. Five minutes later he pops up out of who knows where over the countertop by the sink, sprints in front of my beautiful salt and pepper bowls, jumps and dives through the opening of the stove burner!
In a complete state of mental disarray, I called it a day. Left the kitchen after informing Oscar and Buck that – effective immediately – they were on a diet.
Phil set up a mouse trap with ham and peanut butter and placed it under the stove. The beast was pronounced dead next morning, around 5:25am, when we entered the premises to have our cappuccino.
Never a dull moment, my friends. Never a dull moment.
ONE YEAR AGO: Celebrate Wednesday with Hoisin-Grilled Chicken & Soba Noodles
TWO YEARS AGO: The Manhattan Project
THREE YEARS AGO: Carrot “Nib” Orzo
FOUR YEARS AGO: A Sticky Situation
FIVE YEARS AGO: The Garden
Bewitching Kitchen 
As someone who handled dozens of mice on a daily basis, for work, I wouldn’t have been quite so upset, but there’s no way I’d want one of the furry little buggers in my kitchen either. So, forget the humane traps, and just get rid of it.
I don’t know much about dogs but I suspect yours would be more likely to want to play with a mouse than kill it. Not quite the same thing as a snake. 🙂
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The sad thing is that they killed BIG rats and even a possum in the backyard. I guess they feel that inside the home it’s MY problem (sigh)
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Dogs? Dogs? The mouse wouldn’t stand a chance with our 4 cats. Our Golden Retriever is brilliant at catching turtles and bringing them to the house to be released by her horrified owners, but a mouse would elude her without question. Loved your post.
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I love Golden Retrievers, they are majestic, super nice dogs!
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Thanks. Yes. Ours is a true sweetie, but, looking at your reply to A_Boleyn, I say again, cats. Our previous Golden actually killed a rabid raccoon in our backyard in Virginia after a vicious struggle and she had the scars to show for it, but I can’t at all see a big dog handling any little critters inside the house. We now live in the SE corner of North Carolina, which is near tropical, and spend a lot of time protecting the geckos and frogs from the cats 🙂
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OMG! I after the dogs failed, I think I would feel the need to burn the house down! (I was askeered for you just reading that!)
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I did not burn the house down, but let’s say A LOT of bleach and elbow grease took place in the following morning….
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Peanut butter is definitely the way to go, Sally!! This from one who has lived thru’ more than one mouse plague in the country – honestly NOT trying to show off or anything, but I believe the last count was about 3000 in a two-week period indoors – had about 5-6 traps going at any time. Going off all the time too!! The worst came when making my bed up for the night and finding dozens had crawled under the doona for comfort!!! NO, I am not telling a tale!!!!! Until the plague kind’of slowed down in the end I just stepped over the little buggers 🙂 ! Remember apologizing to one when I stepped on it! OK – awhile ago, but living semi-rurally now we still have at least 2-3 finding their way in every week: just keep the peanut butter going – less expensive than T-bone steak which they also like 😀 !!!
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I think I might faint….
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No, you would face unavoidable matters as best you could!! We all cursed and got along being ‘mass murderers’ during mouse plagues having a small outdoor fire going 24 hours a day for ‘incineration’ purposes!!! 🙂 ! The mice were and are a nuisance but the large number of poisonous snakes and spiders in your garden beds, around outside water taps etc oft crawling indoors are a far greater worry: they can kill and with the local hospital at the moment being 40 kms down the road and the ambulance taking at least 20 mins to get here . . . that is much more worrisome !!!!!
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I could live at your house and not notice anything different. It would happen exactly the same way here. OR I’d get, “It’s only a tiny mouse, surely it won’t eat much.”
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I KNEW you would understand me…., and even though I don’t know your hubby personally, what you tell about him makes me visualize him saying just that! They won’t eat much…. priceless… well, sort of… 🙂
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Be aware. Where there is one mouse there are many more. We caught at least a dozen! Now we keep live traps in three places. And we have inspected and sealed every thing we can. The mice can make themselves very tiny. Good Luck
Debbie and Dick Egan
Date: Thu, 10 Jul 2014 05:02:10 +0000 To: egan8523@hotmail.com
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We have six traps going on, and I personally inspect the home for mouse drippings. Drippings, who came up with such a word?
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Between shaking with laughter and shivering with goosebumps, I don’t know how you managed to sleep! I do hope that you don’t have anymore but if you do then try those ultrasonic plug in rodent repellers along with the peanut butter traps. X
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Note to self: get ultrasonic plug repellers…. Do they make some for crickets too? That would be HEAVEN!
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What an eventful night!! And I had to laugh about the dogs. Just when you really need them, they become pacifists!
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Pacifists. That tells it all…. What a bunch of pacifists!
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HA….love starting my day with a good laugh (sorry it was at your expense). Mice on the floor have never bothered me much, but once they become brazen enough to run across the counter, it’s time for them to go……SNAP!
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Agree with you…. the problem is, they are never happy with the floor, they aspire to higher and tastier places. Very annoying creatures… and fast too… (sigh)
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This was a great read to start my morning! I just love it Sally. It sounds so familiar. I can’t tell you the number of mouse adventures we have had – one involving me actually coming into physical contact with one! I still get the shivers thinking about it. According to Mike, I have a specific mouse scream as well…different from my spider scream. 😉 I can just picture the scene in your kitchen. They are the sneakiest little things. It’s amazing how they can get into nearly anything! So glad your ordeal has ended (no thanks to the dogs – that cracked me up!). My cats have all been that way with spiders. Won’t touch them. They’ll attack every other moving thing – our little guy actually even catches flies for us (mid-air) and comes running when I have a bug that needs killing, but spiders nope. Fortunately they are expert at catching mice. 😉
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i think I need a couple of cats…. ha! Can you imagine? we already have two dogs that need to be kept separated, at all times, the idea of bringing felines into the equation leaves me paralyzed with fear 😉
Phil says I have a specific cricket scream, but you and I know that husbands make up stuff all the time. Martyr. I am.
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Oh! Are they those abnormally large brown crickets?? Not the little black ones…but something much larger and they make your way in the house? Eeeek!!!!
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Oh, Sally… this was too good! But you know what cracked me up real nice? Your tags! Oh, MY GOD, “I am not a Drama Queen” “Unfair treatment of wives” Too, too good!
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I think it’s important to tag well 😉
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Oh my gosh! I wouldn’t do well in this situation either. Sounds to me like the little chef was just trying to snag some of your fancy ingredients! (you did see Ratatouille, right?)
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Oh, yeah,,, that was a cute movie… I think mice in cartoon form are awesome… now, jumping into stoves, not so much! 😉
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Hahahaha Sally, your story cracked me up (and I’m sorry it was at your expense!)
I could share so many mouse (more like rats) stories myself, because NYC is plagued with rats.
Once, a rat’s tail got entangled in the telephone cord. The creature was wriggling and squeaking for dear life, and there was just no way to free him. So eventually I had to kill him; but then I was so grossed out I threw the telephone (with the dead rat attached) away.
Now I can laugh about it but it was terrible… 🙂
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Mike, now I will never EVER be able to erase these horrible images from my mind! NO, I am NOT a Drama Queen, don’t you dare starting i!
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“Be aware. Where there is one mouse there are many more”….. youhoooo, more fairy tales to come!!!!!!
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Please, universe, don’t make that happen!
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What a great story, had me chuckling away by myself in a room full of people. Anyway glad you got your mouse.
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Yes, it had a happy ending… for us, the mouse would not agree… 😉
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Why didn’t you just turn the stove on? Protein’s protein….
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I am part of the protein-selective crowd… 😉
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I love all the exhibits!
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: Exhibits… good way to put it… 😉
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You brave souls! I’m terrified of mice. I would have probably got a hotel until we found the culprit. This post did make me smile though. Thank you for sharing!!
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The idea crossed my mind. I did have a couple of nightmares… oh, well…. we survived this one. Or I should say “I” survived it…
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I once woke up (have I told you this story?) when I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor to the sound of a little being chewing my hair. I went and bought a bedstead the next day. I used to catch the little mice who came into my flat, in those days, with a bowl balanced upside down on the round part of a bevel screwdriver and tasty bait inside. Cardboard under bowl. Mouse would move treat, bowl fell down, next day would upturn cardboard and bowl and carry the lot to the park and release. Mouse probably came back. Now all I get in this house are ants and the odd lonely frog…
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OMG, I’m laughing so hard right now. This could be a replay of my husband and me with a ‘situation’ we had a few years ago! And as for dogs: In one of my long ago kitchens, a tiny mouse managed to leverage itself up on my dog’s food bowl where her leftover breakfast of dry dog food was in the kitchen. Both my dog and I were so surprise we didn’t at first react. Then my dog looked at me as if to say – ‘what are you going to do about this?’. Definitely not a mouse catcher. She wasn’t going anywhere near the little guy. The problem was, neither was I.
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